Press 1 for Autumn
You work hard,
you deserve crisp air
and a pile of colored leaves.
Why wait? Order your season today
The more you buy, the more you save.
Press 2 to fast forward to spring
if the orange is too bright
and evenings too dark and chill.
Do you long for lilies?
Why be satisfied with the pace
of the earth?
Why be satisfied with October nights
when you are feeling like first of May?
Spring can be yours today.
Don’t wait, don’t delay!
New and Improved!
Summer, now organic and free range
with zero calories.
Get yours now!
Tired of waiting for the sun?
Press 3 to get rid of that winter body
and slim into summer.
Miss that cozy-by-the-fire feel
and smell?
Press 4 to have winter
delivered to your door.
With Insta-Season,
you don’t have to be chained
to the seasons.
Have the sun delivered to your door/inbox/sensory input system
in no time. (Check your spam folder if you haven’t received it)
First-time callers receive
a simulated wind-packet,
your very own pocket fan.
Feel the breeze on your skin
when and how you want it
You’re in control!
(AAA-batteries not included)
Free shipping and handling on orders
of over three elements.
Thank you for your order–
your product will arrive in three minutes.
**Free gift if you order now, for a limited time only:
Your own personalized moon
injection-molded with colored plastic
and engraved with your very own initials.
Keep your moon inside with you
so you never have to go outside.
Rumi and the Shadow 