When bear came to evict me
I was almost ready to surrender
I knew there were new stages
I needed to be on/in
new abodes to inhabit
But what I never told you
or any one
but grandmother spruce
and the swamp lanterns hugging
the shoulder of the creek
that lent me flow
was I’d had an argument
with the gods
of love and fate
I’d had an argument with everyone
when the cold rains thundered
I thundered in return
my most furious curiosity
asking the age old questions
I made demands, I made myself
a fool, fierce and wet
I knew bear was coming
for he’d been arriving for some time
In my dreams
when he gave me a spring kiss
on the snout
and a winter warning
from the forest edge
I wobbled and froze in fear
He blessed me on the river,
and I stepped inside his fur
teaching me to shapeshift
under summer suns
and now, in my home, which was his first
we caught each other’s eyes
and I finally surrendered
as we came out of hibernation.
I’m becoming a bear
and I will be devoured
by a bear
at the end of this in-breath
this love-bud
this finger-wide moment
The puncture I gladly accept—
Not only accept but celebrate
as a fang of love.
For he, this great teacher,
fulfills his purpose
alongside River
and the OakSong of Old
beside Eagleworm and SisterOwl
and the delicate melody of Moon and Thrush
the hide and seek of Fox
the stealth of Bobcat
I won’t be found dying
without my purpose punctured
There is no escape—He is wild
and I am drunk on civilization
I accept my glorious annihilation.