The Fog Has Lifted: January Micropoems

Each week I gather small poems and haikus I wrote inspired by writing prompts (such as @microprompt on Twitter). The prompt word in each poem has a hashtag.

lifting the fog1like that maple #leaf,
in the cool winter midnight
hard time letting go


I see your shadow
shining like a rainbow #ray
tender sacred wound


Unless you’re quiet
as a butterfly in pupa
the #sound of The Machine
will grind your own voice
to bits


I was supposed to touch you
gently with words
but fear rode my #tongue
and hurled barbs
meant to wound.
for that i am sorry


the #fog has lifted
I see us for what we are:
creatures of love/fear


curiosity got the best of me
I peaked over the #rim of the caldera
and descended to find ancient ashes
to bathe in


The road to Pleasure City is paved
with bright pink bricks
rolling thru wetlands
I stroll the pink lick road
with an eager #tongue


let us hear the #sound
of our fears
but not live them out


Hara Haiku #1:
I’m jolted awake
by this #bell in my belly
3 am alarm

Advertisements

Open Letter to Rocks, from a Geologist of the Heart

heart rockOpen Letter to Rocks, from a Geologist of the Heart

Love rocks
Yes, I do
Yes, it does.

All unique
beyond compare
I touch each one
like it’s the first rock
I’ve ever seen
rolling it in my hands
feeling the texture
savoring its shape

If I’m bold, taste it

what is it made of?
what colors live in it?
how big or small is it?

Some are smooth
and simple
like sandstone,
layers added gently
over time
things get through
you can scratch
initials in it
bury your fossils
see where you’ve been
form fascinating patterns
exposed to the elements
it can erode over time

others are complex
and tough
like granite,
an amalgamation
of colored scars
formed from
enormous heat and pressure
processes
pushing material
from deep below

its quartz are
micro prisms
crystallizing
elements within
wanting to be reflected
in the light of the sun

some transform
from one to another
like gneiss
banded with stretch marks
from its constant
movement
not sure
what it wants to be
before it reaches the sea

other rocks begin scorching hot
burning wildly
but cooling rapidly
leaving a shiny surface
with nothing left to do

a trial by fire
an igneous experiment
below the surface
or sometimes out in the open

some rocks remain a mystery
extraterrestrial
elements beyond
the periodic table

love rocks

a whole collection
rests on my altar
pick one up
once in a while
just to admire

but always finding new types
never seen before

because I’m a geologist

and the earth
is made of rock
and so am I

Scratches in the Sand

scratchesstretching out
towards the world
trying to capture
the endless bouquets
of beauty
and pain

scratching black and white words
and florid brushstrokes
on our canvasses
conjuring melodies
like raving magicians

all the while
knowing that they’re
mere clouds
blowing through
like transient guests
on vacation.

one day at sunset
only the merest scratch
in the sand
will remain

and even that will be
reclaimed by the great sea
at midnight.

just as we will be.

yet still we
stretch and scratch.

We are alive

Full Wolf Moon (La Luna Llena #5)

WP_20160125_002.jpgTo the Full Moon – January 2016

I didn’t expect to see you
come out and play tonight
from just beyond
the cottonwood tree

your daytime partner kept dancing
brightly behind silky undulating veils
that kept dropping
glitter to the ground

but evening festivities
blew the clouds away
and brought everyone out

not sure why I’m surprised:
you seem to stop by
about once a month

yet it’s always a nice gift
to see your glow up there
something familiar about it

I know moons like you don’t
have much to do
with us terrestrial folk
apart from pulling the tides
and making wolves howl

there’s a reason
for your orbit

yet, i still see
a friend in you
now that the dust is
out of my eyes

you’re alright
just like i thought
so many moons ago
solid

so when cloudy curtains
draw back on chilly
winter nights
and you appear:

just appreciation

the world likes to see you

Surfing the Serpent

rainbow splashBecause it’s National Serpent Day, it seems like an appropriate time to share some things that have been going on for me over the last few months. I want to share because it is the major process in my life right now and because lots of other people are going through ‘non-normative’ experiences and perceive things differently. It can feel isolating to think you’re the only one.

I’ve been going through what I am calling energy awakenings or movements over the last few months. In lieu of another framework to understand it, I have taken it to be kundalini awakening. It is an Indian yogic concept, but the underlying idea is found in various cultures, and is often symbolized/imaged as a coiled serpent at the base of the spine that rises through the body towards the skull. I don’t pretend to be able to capture my experience in words, but I’ll try to give a glimpse.

Some of you already know that I see purple, especially when with certain people. They are flashes of bright light that seem to emerge when I have a certain energy and/or have a certain vibe (love? care?) with another person. And this can be with eyes open or closed, day or night. I had that experience previously with 2-3 people in years past. Then two summers ago it was magnified, and even the person I was with began to also see purple (and still does). It progressed significantly, until it just became a regular part of my everyday life, unless I was depressed and disconnected. Now I see a variety of colors, the current default being bright pink/fuschia and bright light green and blue. Not all the time, but often. And frequently associated with where energy is focused in my body. So for example, when my heart is full and open, I see a lot of pink and green overlapping each other.

Finally, I now increasingly see a full rainbow: bright and amazing and in a variety of patterns and images and in ways that are not really reducible to two or three dimensions. Not gonna lie, it’s pretty spectacular! Once, when a person was caressing me, it was like they were painting me with a rainbow paintbrush. Another time, I saw a xylophone-type instrument with bright rainbow keys. And other times, I see it as the energy centers in the body all at once.

But the colors are the least of it. Or I should say, they are merely a visual concomitant of other events that are occurring.

My ‘symptoms’ began in May, with seeing dancing cords of light in three colors emanating from my heart, and more troubling experiences that at the time I thought were mere anxiety, like spontaneously sweating and shooting sensations in my legs. Then purple was resurrected after a hiatus of more than half a year. It picked up earnest in November when I had three nights of riding giant tidal waves of energy from within that I could barely manage. It was positive, but overwhelmingly powerful and accompanied by a deep bass vibration among others things. I actually shouted out loud because I couldn’t contain and was unprepared for it.

It feels like I am undergoing a transformation, an interior operation on my body and psyche. Or like a purification, a remaking, an infusion. But it’s not linear and it’s unpredictable. I’m learning a lot but often haven’t been able to keep pace. The ‘symptoms’ seem to be more frequent and I can feel it working almost all the time now.

It’s alternatively interesting, exhilarating, joyful, pleasant, peaceful, painful, sad, overwhelming, and confusing.

I have sometimes been anxious about what is happening or what is next on the menu. It’s like simultaneously I’m experiencing emotional triggering events that seem regressive and also deeply intuitive experiences that are evolutionary and new perceptions and energy extremes as well as energy balancing.

Once I stopped resisting, things became smoother. That’s the key: Trust the process.

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?” -Rumi

Among my ‘symptoms’: vibrating, tingling, shooting pains, itching from within, sounds, buzzing, a voice, colors and patterns and alternate perceptions, pressures, the taste of sweet nectar in the center of my spine, chest pains, specific kind of headaches, inner thuds and clicks, muscle soreness, muscle spasms, fluctuation in sexual desires and eating, sensitivity to sound/energy (more so than usual), cold head/hot head, a change of my desire for alcohol (can’t really drink it now), gas, sweating, and rocking. I’ve had a couple experiences of feeling a merging of energies with other people, experiencing their terror and joy intensely from the inside.

I read this on a site that talked about signs and symptoms:

“Until you adjust and integrate the new higher vibrational energies, you may feel as if in a pressure cooker – nervous, weighted down, shaken up and stressed out. The purpose of these higher energies is to accelerate your healing by bringing up old karmic patterns, negative behaviors, and faulty belief systems (etc.) up to the surface to be looked at and released. It is an intense process, but it works.”

For the most part I am not stressed out about it, nor weighted down, except for nights or days when it is overwhelming and I feel isolated because they are not ‘normal’ experiences. Then sometimes I start to think something is wrong with me and I fear losing my faculties or something.

I don’t know what it all is or means  or even if Kundalini is the ‘right’ framework. I’d be especially interested in hearing from folks who have any similar type of experiences.

But my intuition says it is positive. I am now treating it as a sacred gift and trusting the process, even when there is physical or mental discomfort. I have been able to let go of things easier, including beliefs and perceived harms, and feel much more open and trusting and compassionate and affectionate and creative. So despite the wild movements and unpredictable phenomenon, in the end I feel more grounded.

I’m practicing ways to really listen deeply and see each thing. Then to be in congruence with the energy and make any necessary adjustments. Seem the best way to go.

Maybe that’s a metaphor for how to approach everything in life.

Mixed Genres: The True Tale of Two Star-Crossover Lovers

WP_20150801_017

INTRO

we were mixing genres
from the first note

Joni and Jazz were on the piano
and I was on my way
Into the Wild
with a ukulele
and a rock and roll heart

i was warned
not to play
with this one
anyway

but we pressed play
on a trickster
soundtrack
for an (r)evolution

___

VERSE

i just wanted
to jam
not be in a band

but we had already
planted a bass line steady
mixed with a purple melody
some sorta cross-genre medley

got in a fast car
and drove slow
melodically meandering
on rivers and roads

shhhh….quiet:
redwood fairy lullabies (original)
ukulele love surprise
under hot full moon skies
and mama creek sunrise

no more waiting
or hesitating
we did the black mountain hop
to a fall harvest crop
can’t stop
a surprise reprise
under October skies
on Pine Mountain top

everything was afire
in the valley
her hair was the least of it
forest and feelings
fueling the flames
of/for this carol

in a gift of rain
while I drummed
and she danced
i gave up my can’ts
and gave it a chance:

sure, i’ll form a band with her
sign a contract with
a record label
you know, to be stable.

what a fable.

CREATIVE DIFFERENCES

“wait, wait, wait!
stop, what kind of song is this?
what key are we in?
where’s the rhythm?
i don’t even recognize that instrument.
what’s a shadow note?”

as soon as we tried to make it
a top 40 pop hit
we went off key
it sounded like shit

half way through the song
we started singin’ out of tune
maybe it was time to prune
if we were creating wounds
so soon

there were simply too many notes
to note, so,
like an emperor, I spoke:
“i have the antidote:
Just cut a few.
it will be perfect,” to quote.

But there are just as many notes,
as are required.
Neither more nor less.

could she sing all the notes
that she has?
could my ears even hear
all that jazz?

which notes did we
have in mind
to make it more refined?

were they outta my range
or did we need to rearrange?
and if so, how do you change
mid-song? that’s strange (confusion)

discordant chord
on the keyboard
upside-down sounds
causing frowns
perhaps we needed
to become unbound

let our songs
be their own thing
this time around

so we put away our music stands
and disbanded the band
with melancholy hearts in our hands

we walked away
from the dock of the bay
perhaps our last chance
was lost that day

my feet beat a quick retreat
my heavy heart halfway
to a mountain seat
before i even crossed the street

i walked outta town
to be both lost and found
into the woods
with the should nots and shoulds

whistling a tune so wrong
it had no place in a song (countermelody)

________

INTERLUDE: A Meditation on Music Theory

there are different
ways to get lost
in the music

but it’s okay
to lose one’s way
in order for mystery
to come out and play (chorus)

you’ll never find it
if you only go halfway

how do you end
a song at the bridge?
how do you stop the growing corn?
can you mourn
music unborn?

conventional formula goes,
“this is how you compose”:

intro,
verse,
chorus, first
then
verse,
bridge
chorus, last

you might have a hit
real fast

easy to sing along to
catchy, but shallow
and can’t contain
all the deep notes

if you wanna write a song
you gotta know the genre (certainty)

or do you?

___

CROSSOVER

sometimes you have to
mix genres and crossover
break out of your rusty cage
with a man in black and go with it
get out your
heavy metal harpsichord
put Bach on banjo
your girls on violin
and Inspector Gadget on beatbox flute
and bring the noise
with a boy named sue
better boogie woogie
and for god’s sake, play some S&M
or folk punk or rock and roll flamenco
doesn’t have to be black and white

CHAOS: Breakdown/up/through/out

sometimes you lose
the melody
by accident
or by design

like the part of the song
where all the instruments
solo

sometimes
at the same time

with Suerte
a good song can resolve the discord
and rediscover a major chord
and sing: le ro lo le lo le

but if we don’t know what to sing,
and feel under pressure
let’s just say:
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da
that’s okay

if it doesn’t work,
well, could just be the music’s over
or a different song
than we hoped for all along

It may or may not be true
that a true song will find you in the end (satirical cover)

So just sing:
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga ooh-la-la!

ob-la-di ob-la-da
life goes on

oh well,
coo coo ka choo

____

CODA:

not sure if the band
will release a new album
or tour again

if we’re able, it’ll be with a
different record label
infused with different hues

perhaps a rainbow

a creative collaboration
perhaps a new iteration
is in gestation?

a sequel song for inspiration?
a tiny gig for titallation?
or just a trickster track
in preparation?

an instrumental?

or just enjoy the silence?

regardless, no expectation

still learning
to write a song right.

but there is no right
there’s only:

feeling into the main melodies
respecting the rhythm
being curious about the cadence
letting it be its own genre

freedom and form
form the song

but in what amounts?

Isn’t it the space
in between the notes
that makes the music possible? (curiosity)